nya writes

so maybe its all my fault, maybe I should never talk, may the world fuck itself, may the society drown,  may karma reach all of them, may they always frown, may the patriarchy loose, may the ones who blame the victim beg for mercy, may lord see this, may the society crumbles, may man or woman who once silenced an innocent, who onc e sided with wrong,  who onc e stayed mum, may they all face consequence. may my lord have mercy, may my lord protect the victims, may the rule be re-established, may women rule it all. 

So I've lost a race I was forced to be a part of I've brought shame which I'm not really proud of I wish it wasn't like this life wasn't made shit of I feel like a failure a dying race horse Life is tough but I made it worse of.

mumma  I wish you said I was pretty  I long to hear those words from your mouth  I want to feel beautiful  But I want you to say that out  loud  You know it hurts,  when the whole world compliments you  but you can never really take their words  because of your own sweet ghosts  that have been built in me by you  I wish you said I was pretty  I long to hear those words from your mouth  I wish you made us confident  instead of insecure and self conscious  so much so that I now don't feel confident with myself  and with looks and with my thoughts complimenting might be a small thing for you but it could change a lot  it could heal my inner doubts  I wish you called me pretty  I long to hear those words from your mouth  so that when i look in the mirror  i smile and feel proud  so that when I talk about myself,  I can openly say im pretty without feeling like a catfish  o...

dear romeo,  im sorry i say no, im sorry i always throw away your efforts, im sorry i never respond to your letters, im sorry i can't give you what you need, sometimes love is not in our deed, sometimes we are better as friends, or maybe just someone's acquaintance dear romeo, ik im selfish, ik i always think of myself, ik i never pay you attention,  it always hurts my heart but, idk if i can do this,  dear romeo, i care for my passion, i care for my family, i care for my career, i don't know who is a scorpion with a hidden stinger,  and to find out, im not eager dear romeo, all i want is some freedom, all i want is to be more than just a pretty brunette, all i want is pay off my dad's debt,  all i want is no regret, so lets just pretend to relent and attend this convent where we first met.  dear romeo maybe we'll cross paths one day, on fine evening in may, maybe we could go out to for a dinner or a movie of that actor dunaway faye,  we could even exc...

Closing her eyelids  she for once felt at peace  The darkness for once didn't scare her  Rather it brought her to an abyss  No one but her thoughts to hear  The loudness she didn't miss.  Rainbows and unicorns,  They are nothing but hallucinations. For her, happiness was strange, but closing her eyelids  She for once felt at peace.  She let it consume her She let it fume her and that was the barter. She gets one moment of silence,  one moment of peace,  one moment of herself,  one moment of truce,  one moment of not being nagged at, one moment of pruce.  it did death confuse  Why would she do it?  Why would she loose it?  They didn't hurt her? She was never abused?  Then what made her bruise? In the land of clouds  I asked her What was the need?  Why this pleed?  What made you take this step?  Why couldn't you ask for help?  And she told me,  She told me her story,...

Im not mine, Im somebody else's, somebody else is making my choices; How I dress, How I eat, How I walk, How I breathe, How I talk, How I stand, What I do, Where I stand,  Its not me whose making those choices, its someone else, Though sometimes I get liberty, But I end up doing stupidity, Why is it like this? Why am I who I am? Why is being you such a jam? I don't love it, being a muppet, I wish I could stop being their puppet.                                                                                                                                             ...